I absolutely understand what you're going through! My cat, Tigger, was a gift from my husband eleven years ago in September. This past April he was diagnosed with cancer. I didn't want to give up on him, so I kept giving him medications and keeping him hydrated. In August, he started looking so bad. I spoke with the vet, and she explained that he wouldn't give up until I told him it was OK. It changed my perspective ... instead of the "don't give up on him" view of the situation, I came to realize that it was in his best interest to give him permission to go. He died in my arms at the vet, hearing words of love and praise for being so good to me up until his last breath. As therapy, I created this layout of him (the photo was taken by me in March ... amazing how fast he went from healthy to sick!). Hang in there, and take care!!!